Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally
by k3ll3nlutzl0v3r
Summary: Nico has to figure outt he order of operations before dinner, or he doesn't get any. Done for my math teacher.


Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally

Nico's point of view

I sit down in a desk, in the middle of the Athena cabin surrounded by bunk beds so I can't escape. Annabeth walks to my desk, and lays down a piece of paper. "Nico since you are 12, and haven't gone to school in three years. I think it is my responsibility to teach you some of the simple skills you missed out on in school."

"Now I'm pretty sure you learned this in school. I want you to tell me what the order of operations is." I looked around the cabin, half expecting it to pop out at me. It didn't.

"You have until dinner to figure it out, or you won't get any food." Annabeth has lost her mind. I jump up out of my seat trying to get out of this scary place. Then out of nowhere Tyson pops up, and pushes me back in my seat.

"Ghost boy needs to learn with Annabeth. Don't leave." Tyson says with a triumphed look on his face.

"Annabeth you can't keep me from dinner. Then I can't offer food to my father. Then he'll get mad, and you, the cause, will be punished." I crossed my arms, and smiled at her victoriously.

"Actually I can Nico. I made a deal with Chiron, and he kinda sorta made a deal with your dad, so if you don't figure the answer out then you can't eat. And we are having enchiladas tonight." She smiled.

"That's Grover's favorite food, not mine."

"Does that matter? If you don't eat then, well, you don't eat." I looked at her knowing she caught on. She knowing I had caught on to her catching on smiled. "Okay you have until dinner starts. You can go now." I glanced up at her, confused.

"You mean I can go?"

"Yes you can go now, but you can't just forget about this. Dinner starts in three minutes." I look around panicked. Then I jump out of my seat, glide between two bunk beds, and fly out the door. I stop right outside, and look around.

I see Tyson a little bit in front of me, and I run to catch up to him. Knowing he's not going to know the answer I ask anyways. "Tyson what's the order of operations?" He looks down at me frowning.

"Please excuse my dear aunt sally." I look up at him. He must have lost his mind, rambling like that. The family he knows he has is Poseidon and Percy.

"I knew you wouldn't know! I just tell me something stupid, so that I'll look bad and not get dinner! I'm not falling for it!" I ran around camp looking for somebody I know. Then I spotted Grover walking into the woods, probably to go see Juniper.

"Grover, Grover, Grover!" He looks up at me. "What is the order of operations?"

"Please excuse my dear aunt sally." I look at him, confused, and thinking this is a joke.

"Come on Grover! I really want to eat dinner, and Annabeth won't let me if I don't figure the order of operations out. Tell me the real answer!"

"If you aren't going to listen to me, then I am not going to help you. You'd think you would believe me since I've been to middle school three times." Then he turns around, and walks away. I stare after him, as confused as ever.

I run to the Big House ready to go to the oracle to ask her. Then halfway there I realized that there was a new oracle, and she actually had legs, and could go places. So I take out my secret cell phone, and call Rachel_, the new oracle._

It's kinda strange having an oracle that wasn't born in the early 1900s. The phone is ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and ringing. Then finally it speaks! "Hey it's Rachel! I can't get to the phone, so I'm probably telling a fortune or splattering a new pair of jeans. So tell me what you want to all the" Beep!

"Rachel its Nico. I know you don't really know me, but I really need your help. I need to know what the order of operations is, and quickly would be nice. Uh… Bye!" I hung up the phone, and hid it in my pocket. I look around to see if anyone saw.

When see that its all clear, I run down to the arena hoping to find Percy. He might have not lost his mind yet. I run down all the steps, and see Percy sword fighting with Clarisse. Their faces were dripping with sweat. I never knew how much they got into these things.

"Hay you guys I have a question." I yell when I jump off the final step. I run over to where they are, and stand there as they completely ignore me. "Hay!" I yell as much peppiness as I could muster up inside my dark body. That made them stop.

Percy looks at me with shock on his face. "Nico did you just yell like a cheerleader?" For once in her life Clarisse was silent.

"I had to you guys were ignoring me, and dinner is almost here." They look at each other, and shrug. Then they start to walk away. "Wait, where are you going?"

Percy looks back at me. "We're going to dinner. That's why you came down here right?"

"No I have a question! I need you tell me the order of operations." Clarisse snorts then chuckles under her breath, and continues to walk to dinner. Percy just smiles.

"Please excuse my dear aunt sally." I looked at him with the most revolting look known to man. "Nico are you okay?" I felt everything build inside of me, and looked at Percy's scared face. Then I laughed.

"Oh my Zeus, this is some kind of joke isn't it? You don't have an aunt named Sally. Your mom's name is Sally! I cannot believe that almost everyone I know at this camp has the same insane comment to give me when I ask them an extremely important question!" Percy holds in his laughter, I can see it on his face, and then looks at me seriously.

"Nico I'm sorry. I told you the answer. Plus I can't really see how what the order of operations is can be so important to you." I had my mouth hanging open, but I didn't care. I could hear Clarisse laugh in the distance, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to get to eat dinner. I was going to starve!

I ran up the steps, and all the to the Athena cabin I was whispering under my breath "Please excuse my dear aunt sally." And laughing like a lunatic after every time I said it. I walked through the cabin door still whispering and laughing crazily.

"Please excuse my dear aunt sally."

"That's right! Oh my Zeus, Nico you got it! I didn't think you would, but you found the answer." Annabeth ran over from the other side of the room, and hugged me. I would have shrugged it off, but I was still too shocked to move. "Nico I'm so proud of you." I came back to Earth, and pushed her off of me. I didn't get the answer.

"Annabeth what are you talking about? I didn't figure it out." She looked me in the eyes, and smiled very scarily.

"Parenthesis, exponents, multiply, and divide, add, and subtract. Please excuse my dear aunt sally. That saying stands for the order of operations." I looked at Annabeth. Then it all came to me, like a tsunami hitting the shores of China.

Everything they said was true. Nobody in this camp had gone crazy. I had crazy. Well more or less I guess I was just dumb. "Please excuse my dear aunt sally. Please excuse my dear aunt sally! Yeah! I get dinner now!" With a smug look I say, "I'm proud of myself. I'm smart."

Annabeth chuckles under her breath. "Well you didn't really figure it out by yourself. You didn't even believe the right answer everybody told you. Since I am so nice though I will let you have dinner." She smiled down on me.

"Yeah yeah yeah! Thank you so much Annabeth!" I run over and hug her. She looked down, and I saw the astonished look on her face. "Oh my Zeus, I just hugged you didn't I?" She nods very slowly. "Wow." I stepped away from her, and started going out the door.

"Nico don't leave yet." I backed up against something hard, and I turned around. Tyson was standing there with a stupid grin on his face. "See Nico now that you have figured out the order of operations I need you to solve a problem." She sweet sickly sweet at me. "I believe that you need to solve a problem for me before you get any dessert." I looked at her, and scoffed.

"Well its good for me that I never eat the dessert anyways. I'm always to full from dinner." I smile at my victory.

"Nico do you have any idea what we are having for dessert tonight?" I shake my head no. "Well, as it turns out we are having baked Alaska on fire which only happens about… oh never." She gets up in my face, and smiles her evil smile. "You would hate to miss that, wouldn't you?"

She has got me there. Baked Alaska was my favorite dessert, and she sets it on fire. Oh my Zeus that makes it ten times better. I had to stop thinking about it or my mouth would start watering. I needed to focus on the problem, the math problem. "Okay where's the paper." Annabeth placed a single sheet of paper on my desk with about a four step problem printed on the front.

The dinner horn sounded, and walked out. Then she popped she head back in the doorway, and threw me a pen. "Come on Nico you can finish it while you are eating." I grab the pen, and paper then walk to dinner with Annabeth.

-About thirty minutes later-

I am eating my enchiladas looking and trying to comprehend the problem Annabeth gave me.

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!" I happily clap my hands together. Then I realize that the song was coming from my phone. I see Chiron from an angle, get up, and start trotting over to wear I'm sitting. I look up at him.

"Go ahead Nico answer the phone." I get out my phone and answer it.

"Hey Nico the code for order of operations is please excuse my dear aunt sally. Just say that to Annabeth, and she'll probably take it. Then you won't have to memorize anything." I see Annabeth a couple tables over shake her head.

"Actually I figured it out." I looked around knowing every eye was on me, but I thought I would take a chance anyway. "Hay Rachel what's 27 minus 2 times 4 plus 9 times 3?" I hear her voice respond on the other line, but I can't tell what she is saying because the phone was being tugged away from my ear by Chiron.

"I don't think so. You have to do the problem all by yourself. Just use the order of operations." He smiled at me in a knowing way. "You've forgotten them." I look down kinda ashamed. "You have oh well this is great." He gallops off chuckling with my cell phone in hand.

"Wait! Don't you think you could tell to me one more time?" Then I hear everyone suck in their breath as if they are waiting in suspense.

Parenthesis, exponents, multiply and divide, add and subtract!" Wow the whole camp is really loud when they scream together. I look at the paper again, and get ready to solve something that will get me baked Alaska on fire.


End file.
